July 25, 2008 marks the 40th anniversary of one of the most eloquent and (in some circles) controversial of encyclicals, Humanae Vitae. Penned by Pope Paul VI shortly after the convocation of the Second Vatican Council, this letter examined the Church’s ongoing teaching on the purpose of marriage within the natural order of God’s design. […]

Two weeks ago my friend Sarah and I loaded our four kids into the van and drove twelve hours to Atlanta to attend the Catholic New Media Celebration… and to meet an extraordinary group of writers face-to-face for the first time, strangers who felt like old friends because of the connections we had made in […]

If May is for mothers, June is the month we think of our fathers. Fathers who gave us life, and who later taught us to ride a two-wheeler and a stick-shift. Fathers who tested the mettle of boyfriends (and steered us clear of the unworthy ones). Fathers who cheered us from the sidelines at spelling […]

My parents were visiting with us this week. Dad put in the dog fence (thanks, Dad!) … and Mom roped me into one of “those” conversations. You know the kind: high in drama, low in resolution.
This time, the subject was Catholicism … my practice of it, to be precise. I’ve had six years of intensive […]

John Paul the Great’s letter on the vocation and dignity of Catholic women, Mulieris Dignitatem, is a powerful source of encouragement, particularly for those who embrace the call to authentic femininity. It gives us a glimpse of the true splendor and beauty of each woman’s call to holy advocacy and service. In the words of the […]

When the USCCB announced that April is to be Child Abuse Prevention Month, cries of "hypocrisy" arose from various quarters. Despite generous financial settlements and other efforts on the part of the bishops to make amends for their brother bishops and priests at the vortex of the scandal, emotions and tempers continue to flare among […]

Today I had a difficult chat with the mother of a little boy who had been visiting with us last weekend. Long story short, I alerted her to some "acting out" that I had observed, as well as report a conversation I'd had with my son about his friend that suggested that his friend might be being abused by an older child or adult.

I told my story, and the mother (with me still on the phone) turned to her son and asked him what happened. His story did not match mine, so she shrugged and thanked me, clearly taking her son's version over mine. I was stunned that she would dismiss my story so readily, and not knowing what else to say I hung up and told myself it would be a cold day in a very warm place before Christopher had any more play dates with that kid.

Ten minutes later, the boy's mother called again, in tears. For some reason, her son had decided to come clean and tell her not only what had happened that night, but that he had planned to do things to Christopher that were far, far worse than what I had caught them doing. She was calling to apologize for not believing me right away.

Fortunately, I did not pick up the second call — Craig did, and he calmed the woman as best he could and assured her that we would help her and her son find the help he needs.

As Craig told me what had happened, I felt my shoulders begin to shake, and my chest constrict as the full horror of what had happened the night before hit me. What if you had not gone down to check on the boys at the precise moment that you did? a voice whispered in my head. What if you had stayed at your computer working, as you often do? What if … What if …

The shaking turned into sobs as my thoroughly alarmed husband tried to get me to calm down, pointing out that I had gone to check on them, I had listened to that little voice that told me to peek into the room. His angels had been watching, and alerted me in the nick of time so that I would actually catch what was going on. And now everything was out in the open and we could take steps to ensure nothing like that would happen again.

It was grace in the nick of time. Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late.

Often I've heard couples who are trying to adopt — this is particularly common with international adoptions — who are delayed for weeks or months, or who never receive the desired placement. On one occasion, a friend of mine had actually received a picture of a child and headed to Eastern Europe to pick up her child … only to find out that the child in question had been given to another couple. They did have another child, however … would she like to see her?

And with that, a mother-daughter relationship was born. When I asked her how she felt about taking a "replacement," she said something very wise: "I've been praying from the beginning that God would send me the right child. The first child was taken by another couple, so she couldn't have been the right child for me. I choose to trust that God knows what He's doing here. And that when the right child is ready for me, I'll know it."

These are good words to keep in mind no matter where we are in the foster/adoption process. A few days ago I received an e-mail from a woman who had tried foster-adoption, and had even tried to get licensed as a foster parent in order to facilitate the process. She keeps running into obstacles and delays, and wonders why she is being jerked around when she only wants to help.

It's a fair question. It's a good question. Why doesn't the state work harder to help couples who are willing to open their homes to these children, when there are so many in need of homes?

I don't know. But this much I do know: God cares even more for each of those children than we ever possibly could. His heart breaks when they cry themselves to sleep at night, scared and alone. Just as it does when that child's "forever parents" get discouraged and consider giving up just before their prayers are answered.

God always sends grace in the nick of time. Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late. That doesn't mean that the path He wants us to travel will be free of all potholes or rough patches. Sometimes we have to stumble in the dark for a while … but in the end, the light is there if we have the patience to keep looking for it.

God's timing is not our timing. But His timing IS perfect.

He sat under the table in the family room, his three-year-old arms folded and his face a pile of storm clouds that threatened rain at any moment.  His older sister ignored him from a few feet away, entranced in her favorite TV show.
"Here, Christopher," I urged, patting my lap.
"NO!" the little boy shouted.  It was […]

Why go to Jesus' mother when I could go directly to the Source of answered prayer?  My relationship with God had always been a high priority.  I wasn't afraid of Him, and knew that He heard me.  I did from time to time ask my friends to pray for me when things got tough, but […]

Well, heading deep into week three of the Great No-TV-For-Lent, Gotta-Read-Five-Hours-A-Week-Or-No-Pizza-Party Experiment. (My original post about this idea is here: http://mommymonsters.blogspot.com/2008/01/fighting-to-win-lenten-pledge.html.)
I'm delighted to report that, while I've yet to get them to embrace fully my "five different types of books each week" idea, the basic plan itself does seem to be working. Even for […]

The other day Lisa Hendy sent me a request from an adoptive mother, who wanted to buy a book to help her tell her adopted child how he entered their family. I found some good pointers for parents at this site. It also includes books for children. My personal favorite is Max Lucado's book, You […]

If you want to get fur flying (or at least a spirited discussion going) in a writer's group, ask the Million Dollar Question: "Should a writer allow his or her work to be published without receiving monetary compensation for it?" Very quickly, two camps emerge: Those who are trying to pay the bills with their […]

The other day I read the beautiful document on evangelization that was recently released by the Holy Father and the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. As I read, a particularly striking passage caught my attention:
"…there is nothing more beautiful than to be surprised by the Gospel, by the encounter with Christ. There is […]

This week I was delighted to receive an unexpected e-mail from an old friend, whom I have not heard from in more than twenty years. I met Gondar while I was on a short-term teaching assignment at a Christian school in Senegal, West Africa. He and I were part of a church music group comprised […]

This was a difficult Thanksgiving for my family. We had funeral services for my paternal grandmother on Tuesday, interred her on Wednesday … then sat down together on Thursday to remember her favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. I had held down the fort at my aunt's house while the others traveled five hours away for the burial. […]

My last article at Catholic Exchange, about Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS), generated a great deal of lively discussion from individuals on all three sides of the adoption triad (adoptive parents, adult adopted children, and birth parents or first parents). Some were worried that the article would discourage prospective parents from responding to God's call to […]

One of the first questions many people ask an adoptive parent is, "Is it possible to love an adopted child as much as one who is biologically related?" Most adoptive parents will immediately respond, "Of course." We love all our children — just as all parents do. Sometimes that love comes easily — when the […]

The snow fell — first gently, then with greater urgency — as I turned my car toward home. Having all but flunked out of my first semester of college (my newfound social life had taken its inevitable toll), I took my parents' advice and got a job until I figured out what I was going […]

School starts again next week, and not a moment too soon. Take today, for instance. I spent the morning with Sarah, scrubbing toothpaste off the carpet and walls (don't ask). Shortly after lunch, I was loading the dishwasher when a commotion started in the bathroom. Someone had decided to see how far a glass of […]

It took us three years to adopt our two foster children; our first official act as their parents was to have them baptized, so they could be a part of God's family, too. As we got ready for the big day, we explained that they would each have new names on their baptism certificates (and, […]

I confess my first draft of this article started out very differently. Prior to the release of the Holy Father's motu proprio, a question weighed heavily on my mind: Would the Latin Mass bring an unseasonable chill to the "Springtime of Evangelization" proclaimed by John Paul II?
As it turned out, I needn't have worried. Since […]

"Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery." I'm not sure who said it, but every mother knows the truth of it.
It's Sarah refusing to leave for church until she has put on her "lipstick" (flavored chapstick), and holding her baby over her knees and patting its back, just as I used to soothe her […]

"I prefer the monotony of obscure sacrifice to all ecstasies. To pick up a pin for love can convert a soul" Therese of Lisieux.
Some weeks ago a friend drew my attention to this story about a former priest, who (brace yourself) "left the Catholic clergy in 1971 to marry Jackie, a former nun."
My thoughts went immediately to […]

When I received word of her death, I took down an autographed copy of her Collected Poems, which lies on a special "fire shelf" in my living room (in the event of fire, the contents of this shelf will get snatched up as I exit the house, once my children and husband are safely outside). […]

It's ironic, really: An outcry that for more than forty years has been ringing out among the "pro-choice" contingency is now on the lips of devout Catholics across the country. "Keep your laws off my (daughter's) body!" The issue, of course, is very different — the HPV vaccine, and whether it should be mandatory for […]

"Who dat?" three-year-old Sarah toyed with the medals I always wear around my neck when I'm doing anything more cerebral than taking out the trash. I was just about to leave for school to take my last exam for the semester: Church History.
One eye on the clock, the other at the place on my neck […]