I usually say the Rosary one decade at a time, sprinkling it throughout my day as I putter along through whatever challenges I find myself facing. Because of this, I sometimes find myself adding an extra Hail Mary to whatever decade I’m contemplating.
This used to really bother me. Maybe, I’d think to myself, this is a sign that I should be sitting down and concentrating.
But perhaps, a small voice persists in my head, what you have planned and what actually happens aren’t as important as you think. God loves you, despite your imperfections. Could it be that it’s better to go through my day praying than it is to get sidetracked by an unrealistic expectation of perfection?
Usually, when there’s a small voice in my head, it doesn’t belong to me. I say that, because voices in my head tend to be loud and raucous and, well, slightly rude. They tend to be generally unhelpful (that’s not counting the husband-in-my-head, who, aside from the small voice, tends to encourage me).
So if the small voice doesn’t belong to me, it could either be a personal tempter (or the devil himself) or my guardian angel (or God). It could be good or evil. The thing is, it’s usually about something encouraging, and it often points me back to God, so I feel safe in taking it as a little message from God.
I have two small children. The gap between what I plan or expect to have happen and what actually happens on any given day is sometimes narrow, and other times as wide as the ocean. As I was praying my Rosary the other day, realizing that I had probably added an extra Hail Mary, I couldn’t help but see how adding an eleventh Hail Mary is the perfect metaphor for a young mother’s life.
So often, as a mother, I question what I do, I wonder how I could do things better, I quake in the face of the challenge of raising other humans. So often, as a mother, I find myself at a complete loss, unable to fathom what lies before me and without the resources to continue along. So often, as a mother, I find myself wishing for different circumstances and trying to juggle too many things at once, and failing.
And then I add an eleventh Hail Mary.
Adding that Hail Mary certainly doesn’t bother God. He isn’t offended. Why, then, do I worry about it?
God doesn’t ask me to be perfect. He asks me to seek, and he reminds me to pray, asking HIM for help, relying on HIM for guidance.
I pray the Rosary because it helps me, even in my most distracted moments, to dwell on Jesus’ life and stay in prayer throughout my day. I pray the Rosary because it has a pattern that I can remember, one that goes well with my active lifestyle — ten fingers, ten Hail Marys. And now that I’ve considered the extra Hail Marys I must add in my journey through my daily Rosary, I realize that I pray the Rosary despite my imperfections.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:52 am
A nice article, but there is a flaw (hey we’re human!)!
You said “God doesn’t ask me to be perfect.”.
Mt. 5:48 says “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
God may forgive our imperfections, but He does tell us we must be! (Otherwise there is no purpose for purgatory).
God Bless!
July 9th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
To Sarah: As a mother and grandmother, I understand the need for an 11th Hail Mary. With a family, life never goes the way you expect. An 11th Hail Mary gives me the grace to accept those “distractions” from MY schedule and gladly segue into HIS schedule.
To Reilly: I don’t know about you, but I was raised by a mother who would not accept anything less than “perfection”. It took me the better part of a lifetime to understand that HER expectation of perfection, and GOD’S were two entirely different animals. God expects us to be “perfect in love”–toward Him and toward our neighbors–and even what seems as simple as that requires His assistance to accomplish. Be “perfect”? Certainly! Be my mother? Not a chance.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
To Cooky642: I can empathize with you concerning the “perfection” your mother demanded; though it was not my experience, I saw it, and the truly deleterious effects on particular friends of mine. Further, I agree concerning God expecting us to be “perfect in love”. However, this means keeping His commandments - this is why we must ALWAYS try to be as merciful as we ask God to be merciful to us. Still . . .
The intent of my comment is that God does expect us to strive for perfection; he does tell us we must be, even though he knows we fail. To start from any other point is, I believe, to set one’s foot on the “slippery slope” - we can see this all around us, particularly in the wide acceptance of teachings contrary to the Church’s teachings; in the priesthood, in religious orders and in the laity. We end up with “cafeteria catholicism”, and the effects of this on youth is readily apparent.
If we, as Catholics, don’t demonstrate the desire to meet God’s demand for perfection why should our children? Our neighbors?
As Mother Angelica would probably say (I believe she has): we had better aim for heaven, because if we shoot low, we still have a chance; aim lower and miss and our end may be exactly what we do not want.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:48 am
My sister recently commented that she is sorry that her rosaries are so often said poorly, with her mind full of distractions. She had heard that Mary really doesn’t mind that, that we are her children and she loves hearing us say every Hail Mary as a little “I love you” to her. My sister’s own little girl brought this home to her when her toddler, while playing happily with toys, kept singing, “I love Mommy, Mommy I love you.” Of course my sister just loved hearing that song, and did not think for a minute that her little girl should put down the toys and really concentrate on each “I love you.” Mary knows how distracted we get, and must also love to see us offering up “I love you’s” all day long, even though our work will often take away our concentration.
Another thought: my father says many, many rosaries. If he realizes that he has unintentionally lost track and gone beyond the ten, he offers it up for his “heavenly bank account” to make up for the times when he unintentionally says too few. It’s a sweet idea! The extra Hail Mary can also go for the holy souls, or for the innocent children of our world who are under such spiritual attack.
Thanks for a nice article, Sarah!